the scare...

of the swine flu pandemic...

tine: he told me that if someone coughs in san diego to run away

tine: so i won't get swine flu

hahaha, i love my dad.
LOL

risk

no, my silly fellow bloggers. not like the game. although, i would love to play it sometimes.

lala, if you know me extremely well, you probably know that i'm not much of a risk taker. i like to do things that i know the outcome to. however, i'm feeling risky lately. i just feel like, i need a change. i need some adventure. well, here it is. let's hope it all works out :D

well, i told you about two weeks ago i would update about my spring break, so hear i am!
i didn't take that many pictures this time around, so you'll just have to read it instead of look at it.

it started on saturday when i went to my friend's house to play a rousing game of hold 'em. seriously, i haven't played in like 2 years. but, ya know, i still know what i'm doing and i watch the wsop from time to time. well, my uiltimate goal was to hustle everyone at the table because i didn't know any of them. it turned out pretty well, i won 40 bucks by the end of the night :]

let's see, i didn't really do anything big with friends this year like our AR trip last year or anything. we can save that for another day :D
but that friday i did go to davis to see the ever so lovely wong fu. i do think i told you this. well, it was amazing. those boys are a lot cuter in person i tell ya. after the show and the long meet and greet i went to visit a friend at his dorm. let's just say, i know i'm a messy person, but daaaaamn. if i ever have a roommate, i sure hope they aren't as messy as he is. but it was fun to see "college life" ie. bongs and beer pong. woot woot.

and then saturday. or dear lord that saturday. i stayed up until 7 making intense cakes for a birthday party. i was totally wiped out the next two days.

and then spring break ended. and i had to go back into the swing of things. school, work, luau practice and other random things here and there.

but i had an exciting weeked this past week :D
i went on a boat. i know, you're like wtf?! i've never been on a boat kids. i was so scared that i was going to get sick off my ass and throw up everywhere. but actually, i was fine :]. i got unnecessarily attacked by water though. and it sucked because i was the one person that didn't want to have anything to do with the water! life sucks.

ah yes, i have fun adventures :D

i am a happy camper

this is been an awesome spring break <3
wong fu tomorrow!


i will update soon, i promise.

much lovelovelove

boy you're one in a million

so, i've been a huge hikki fan for sometime now. i think first love was the first jpop song i ever listened to. i definitely heard her on the radio today. her new song "come back to me" is damn good. i mean, her exodus was pretty good too. but sometimes, hikki + english = weird songs.



there's the mv for come back to me. she looks stunning in this video. that haircut is love. she looks like she belongs back in the final distance days.

but yeah, i usually listen to jpop/kpop/cpop, etc, etc more than american music. but thanks to america's best dance crew and the hot billboard 100 has kept me up to date with the real world. fave song right now definitely is a toss up between boom boom pow by BEP or numba 1 (the tide is high) by kardinal offishall, maybe because that song reminds me of the lizzie mcquire movie. oh yeeeeah.

speaking of movies. there's a new fast and furious coming out. oh yeah, cause the next thing we need is more white boys racing rice rockets. i hope another fm song is in.

so did i say how much i desperately want to go to isa? well, i do. but tickets are almost sold out and basically no one else wants to go or know what it is. i was to see fm again and meet wf and passion. rawrr. i wish i lived in the bay <3.>

speaking of the bay? actually, this has nothing to do with the bay. i downloaded se7en's american song "girlz". i actually like it. beat's pretty hot. and i found that song via youtube and then i found it via limewire.

i love youtube.

RANDOM YOUTUBE TIME.



coolest crew dancing to my current fave fm song. girls on the dance floor is my anthem, next to 3d.



nigahiga is a knee slapper. i sure many have seen this. it's quite hilarious.



i freaking love epik high. there's a kid at my school that looks like tablo. no lie. anyways, when tablo raps, it's total love. and he does it in english. oh shit. "i ba-rock this show o-ba-ma'self."

enjoy.

random blog much?

wtff

i haven't been this pissed off in a long long while. saturday was a shitload of fun, too bad i woke up with a screaming hangover. and i woke up having to answer my phone and listen to some motherfucker talk to me. sit there, call me heartless, call me useless, call me worthless, called me lonely, and all this other bullshit. wtf kid? i was done with your bullshit long ago. sitting here, telling me that i can't let go? well who the fuck has been calling me for the past year. motherfucker, get your shit straight. hell fucking no am i gonna cry over you. you're not worth anything. fuck, go ahead and call me whatever you want. at least i'm not fucking drunk at 1 in the afternoon. at least i'm not dwelling over the fucking past. let that shit go. why the fuck do you have to keep calling me. saying that i'm still sprung over you? homeboy, you got that shit twisted cause it's obvious you're still sprung over me. i hope you fucking stay 3000 miles away from me. thinking about moving here? hah, think again. wtf are you trying to accomplish by moving here. kid, i was done with your bs long ago, so leave me the fuck alone, playa.

sometimes

sometimes it's better to live without expectations
that way, we can never get hurt
sometimes it's better to let our friends fall
instead of helping them when they stagger
sometimes it's better to live moment by moment
because day by day is just way too fast
sometimes it's better to be alone
because being with people makes you lose yourself

sometimes i wonder why i'm so crazy
i still haven't found the answer.

new year reflection

sometimes, i forget what happens in a year. but 2008 has been a crazy ride. i remember reflecting back on 2007 no too long ago. and as i recall, i really hated 2007. a lot of really shitty things happened. i bought a journal during the new year and i reflected back in about 2 pages. it was pretty crazy. i told myself i was "greet[ing] 2008 with high hopes of changing myself for the better." i guess in a way you can see that as a resolution, but i'm not so sure myself. i've definitely changed, hasn't everyone? i told myself to stop worrying over petty things and i've gotten better at it. however, 2008 has been a year of high stress. from school to boys to work and to fam, i've definitely overfilled my bucket this year.

my goals last year were to:

-Focus on school and get good enough grades to apply to Berkley and UCSD.
-Spend more time with my family.
-Appreciate the little things in life.
-Love each day.
-Smile often and brightly.

i applied to berkeley and ucsd, no doubt, but i don't know if my grades are good enough to get in. however, i am aiming for davis. and the funny thing is, my dad was telling me about the top 3 law schools - yale, harvard, and davis. so, let's hope i get into davis, yeah?

spend for time with the fam. i definitely have and my fam has grown. the inclusion of a new older brother and his fam has been pretty awesome. actually, i spend more time with fam then i do my own friends.

appreciate the little things in life. sometimes, i appreciate things a little too late. after their dead and gone. the smiles. the laughter. the jokes. the joy. all of that. i missed them when they happened and saw myself reflecting back when they were already gone and never coming back.

love each day. somedays i wake up and i want to stab myself in the eye. somedays i wake up and i want to sing. days vary. my life - although sometimes typical - varies as well. i find myself trying to love each day, but most importantly, loving the days that truly matter.

smile often and brightly. lately, i haven't been. but for the most part of 2008, i was happy. a lot of good things - or as least a good thing - happened and it kept me happy. but when it was over, i found myself upset and tired, unable to smile. so, i don't think that worked out too well.

"even though i always say that it's the same life i've been living, i really hope this year is great. because i don't want to be living the same life. i want something new and different. i want to change it up. take risks. experience new things. all of this, it's what i truly want. not materialistic items. they just fill the void temporarily. but how can i ever ask someone "make me take risks" or "for christmas, i want change" to everyone else it sounds silly. but to me, it's what i want more than anything. i want to be different, but the same all at once. maybe i just ask for too much." - 01.07.08

2009, it's my graduating year. my year to shine. my time. my life. mine. i want more than anything to live this year to its fullest potential. i don't want to half ass my senior year. it's more than just senior year. it's my defining year. what has 2008 given me that i can carry on over to this new year?

it gave me an outlook on relationships and how somethings have to be sacrificed. i lost friends this year. i lost my best friend. someone who used to be my only brother has turned their back on me. i've lost a relatively good friend. someone i have a solid past with now refuses to talk to me or return my phone calls. things have become awkward. and then i learned that it's life. you lose things that are dear to you. at times they hurt like a bitch, but in the end it has to happen. we can't keep the friends we made six years ago or even six months ago forever. people change. commonalities diminish. we grow up. we move on.

i've learned to brush things off. don't give a fuck about the negative things people say. because in the end, what i think matters. what i feel matters. whatever anyone else may think of me, it's nothing. small. petty. useless. they aren't going to define my life. what they say. what they think. what they think they know. that's all good for them. but i can't let them taint my mind.

i no longer want to be invisible to those who matter most. my fam. they don't know me at all. they don't know the things i do or i feel. and i feel guilty for it [damn that ap lit]. i want them to see me, actually see me. understand me. and love me.

"2008, whatever you throw at me, i'm ready for it. all the obstacles before me, i'll face them head on with a smile on my face. i'm ready"

2009, you're no exception