simply suggestive.

i realized that i haven't been as into this as i used to. so i sat around and thought of a good topic i could enlighten you with. i was inspired by this quote off flyy_quotes:

"Be the best you can be, & the worst without getting caught."

so i thought about all the things we can do without getting caught. how, a lot of our laws in the world, we take as mere suggestions. for example, the speed limit. i see it as, "i suggest you go 45", but really, who does go on speed limit when there's not a cop around nowadays. same with the cell phone thing, a lot of people take it as suggestions, instead of actually getting off their damn phones and pay attention to the roads. but, can we make this comparison to something more real? something more relate-able?

i thought about it for a while, and then i figured it out. or so i think. EVERYTHING in life is a suggestion. your parents tell you to get good grades. they've made a suggestion, and you in the end make up your mind to follow it or not. your friend tells you to get that girl/guy's number, but it's up to you to go and get it. people can tell you anything that want. they can ramble on and preach about their beliefs. but what good are someone else's beliefs? what's the point of someone else telling us what they think?

well, i think we tell each other what we think, because we believe we can make a difference, but can we really? how easy is it to change someone's mind? if it was so easy, many people would be swayed by barack obama's views of hope and change. or touched by john mccain's 5 years as a POW. we like to BELIEVE that one thing we say or do can make a difference. and sorry to burst your 5 year old ideologies, but that's not true. sorry for the cynicism. i try to be happy, i promise.

but on a political note:

goodbye summer

hello fall.

this cold weather reminds me that things change. it's a new year, a new life, and new start. a chance to start over. take myself away from where i was a year ago. and i realize that things are changing, but maybe not in the way i want them to change. yesterday, i had to say goodbye. and it wasn't as bittersweet as i wanted it to be. actually, it was just bitter. the sweet part decided to screw me over and just not show up. i wished it went easy. i wished it went down a lot smoother than the alcohol. but it stung. stung more than the bite on my finger. burned more than the liquor. my head was spinning last night. a result of stupidity and desperate attempts to "have fun." but my head didn't hurt as much as my heart. i just wanted to scream out "forget me." if only it was so easy. i don't want to cry anymore. if only holding back my tears wasn't so hard. i only wished i was intoxicated enough to tell you everything and then forget it the next day. then, you couldn't hold it against me. but nothing ever flows my way. so what now? i guess it's time to stop moping, and do something.

enjoy life

confused, seriously.

life works in a wonderful way. constantly going against you, and making your brain hurt for days on end. today was an interesting take on things. it's been a while since i've heard "what ever happened to you and boy." and i smile, like always and act like i have no idea what they are talking about. but today was a little different. i admitted to liking him to someone outside my comfort zone for once. and apparently, he likes? liked? whatever, me back. ah, but after today's conversation, i can see that nothing is meant to happen. it kinda made me sad. because, deep down somewhere, i still like him and wish for something to happen. today confused me. thanks day, you ruined my life

infinite boredom

web design will be the death of me

"when plaid goes bad"

i'm usually not one to urge. but i URGE you to stop shopping at burberry or tell others who do to stop. burberry still uses REAL fur on their products. fur that comes from the animals in the video above. burberry isn't stupid they KNOW that type of treatment these animals get, but they don't care.

"Burberry may be best known for its distinctive plaid, but its use of real fur is making the design house synonymous with cruelty to animals. Burberry continues to use fur in its designs despite the fact that leading clothing retailers like J.Crew, Ann Taylor, Polo Ralph Lauren, and others have pulled fur from their stores forever."
-exerpt from bloodyburberry.com

why continue supporting a company that treats animals in such a cruel manner.



"what if you were killed for your coat?"

first day of school?

today was my last first day of high school. crazy, huh? i'm not used to the fact that i'm a senior. and i think to everyone else, i look like an underclassman. but, at least i know my way around campus and know what i'm talking about. being a senior is pretty surreal. we have senior sunrise on friday, the first of many activities. and to think, i will be done in a few months. on top of that, my birthday is in three months :]. another year older, barely any wiser, and so much closer to 21. haha. oh, and today i realized terms 3 and 4 will be the death of me. but, oh well.

hooray for rants

what if all i had to do, was say the right words. at the right time. with the right emphasis. for you to understand the mumbo jumbo inside my brain. what if, all it took was a simple burst of emotion in the form of letter combination, to make you understand me. sometimes i wonder if i say the right things, but at the wrong times. and at the right times, i'm at loss for words. but would it matter anyway? because i'm not good with words and i hate the way my voice sounds. so i may never get my point across. and you may never understand. you may never fully realize. i know there's an inkling in you, telling you what's going on. but maybe your mind is at loss for words as well when it tries to summarize the situation. and i'm sure all of this isn't making sense, but bear with me. it's funny how i always find out the wittiest thing to say after the fact. after my chance to shine is over. after you have already seen me as boring. i guess it can't be helped. because i swear the blood stops flowing the minute i talk to you. i might as well sit there, mute, as you mutter away and say funny things left and right. but, you have always been good with your words and diction. that's nothing new. maybe it's not that i'm bad with putting sentences together that make sense or have any meaning. maybe it's just that, your skills are far more superb. and therefore, you overlook my worthless attempts to share my thoughts. words. words. words. there are so many words in this world, but none can describe anything that i've been feeling. and i know i don't feel indescribable, because if your really tried, there's a word for everything. but i don't know much of everything. so here i am, stuttering. tripping over my tongue. fighting with my brain. dealing with my heart. opening the dictionary in my mind. doing anything to make you focus on me more. but it doesn't work. cause it's been almost a year, and i'm in the same spot. almost a year, and i have yet to utter the perfect phrase to make you stay. there's not much left to do now.

got my schedule fixed:

term 1 & 2:
period 1 - unknown
period 2 - poli sci hnrs / ap lit
period 3 - econ / ta
period 4 - mock trial

term 3 & 4
period 1 - physics
period 2 - ap gov / ap lit
period 3 - stats
period 4 - ap psych

ON A LIGHTER NOTE: