goodbye summer

hello fall.

this cold weather reminds me that things change. it's a new year, a new life, and new start. a chance to start over. take myself away from where i was a year ago. and i realize that things are changing, but maybe not in the way i want them to change. yesterday, i had to say goodbye. and it wasn't as bittersweet as i wanted it to be. actually, it was just bitter. the sweet part decided to screw me over and just not show up. i wished it went easy. i wished it went down a lot smoother than the alcohol. but it stung. stung more than the bite on my finger. burned more than the liquor. my head was spinning last night. a result of stupidity and desperate attempts to "have fun." but my head didn't hurt as much as my heart. i just wanted to scream out "forget me." if only it was so easy. i don't want to cry anymore. if only holding back my tears wasn't so hard. i only wished i was intoxicated enough to tell you everything and then forget it the next day. then, you couldn't hold it against me. but nothing ever flows my way. so what now? i guess it's time to stop moping, and do something.

enjoy life