again&again - 2pm

"i think i've gone crazy - have i no pride?
i come back to you like the first time around
saying i can't be like this

[...]

again and again and again and again
i keep coming back to you - i don't know why
again and again and again and again
i fall for your words again - i don't know why"

i don't know why i'm doing this to myself

stay - big bang

"all the pain that's been wreckin my brain
gettin so close to goin' insane"

i don't know when i started losing my voice.
i don't know when it became so hard for me to express how i feel
i don't know when i became so withdrawn from the world
i know who i'm close to, but they don't even know me that well
fuck, i don't even know myself.
i don't understand why i keep everything bottled up nowadays
i can't find one person to talk to - vent to
i can't put what's going on in my world into words
because of this, i've become selfish
constantly fighting to save my own ass
looking out for myself first
not worrying about others
maybe i need to stop putting myself in situations that create problems for me and the ones i care about.
my head is spinning, it's hurting
i'm going crazy
i'm not like this sober or drunk
so what the fuck is wrong with me
that was the result of years and years of wear and tear
endless days of not being able to be my true self
i'm scared.

summertime - magnetic north & taiyo na

"summertime days and summertime ways
how i do love you - let me number the ways
1, love how the sun is unchanged
so much rain - bout time that summertime came
2's for the music we bump when we cruisin'
i might go deaf but the subwoof is soothin'
3 is for the company - chilling comfortably
up in the summer breeze"

i love summer. except for one, i'm not a fan of the sun and the heat
but hey, what can you do about it, right? - it is nature after all.
i have been bumpin' GD all day today.
and i just downloaded bringing you love, so i have more songs to blast
driving down the streets during a summertime sunset with music on high is probably the best feeling ever :]

"countdown to ten, before the summer ends
my choice for 10: house parties in brooklyn
[...]
see the sun settin' - that will be 7
the sun coming up, that's 6 (what up!)"

although i've never partied in brooklyn, one can dream
but parties in the summertime are much more enjoyable because you don't always have to watch the clock
the feeling of ease and relaxation takes over you when you are partying it up.
and i've seen the sun set a number of times, and it still never ceases to amaze me
sun rises - i've only seen one since summer started, but it was nice and peaceful :D

"8, rockin' my aviator shades
number 7: movie marathons with my friends
now 6, bbqs and picnics
[...]
4, chillin' in the bay and new york
3 - vacays with the family
2 is spending my summer with you
in fact i like it so much, you're my number 1 too (aw)"

i wish i got that summer fling i asked for, i think it would've made my summer a little bit more enjoyable
i still need to go to the bay one time before summer is over - i miss it so much
and who can forget epic movie nights with chrissa and adrienne :]

"woke up this morning to a tune i couldn't sing
but then you came around
and now i found the perfect harmony"

Summertime - Magnetic North, Taiyo Na, Conchita Campos

breaking the habit - linkin park

"memories consume
like opening the wound
i'm picking me apart again
[...]
i don't want to be the one
the battles always choose
'cause inside i realize
that i'm the one confused
[...]
clutching my cure
i tightly lock the door
i try to catch my breath again
[...]
i don't know how i got this way
i know it's not alright"

'nuff said

new soul - yael naim

"i'm a new soul in this very strange world
hoping i could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take
but since i came here, felt the joy and the fear
finding myself making every possible mistake"

seriously, i'm done with high school, but why is drama still around.
i'm so tired of it and so over it.
i'm almost in college, g'damn it. it's time to get over this petty shit
get over it and get over yourselves.
i don't even know anymore, seriously.
this is some sort of bullshit that's floating around - and sorry, i'm allergic so stay the fuck away from me.
i'm so done - drama is not my cup of tea
and OVERDRAMATIZING is not my idea of a fun time. so fuck off and good night bitches.
i'll just stick to my tweetdeck and twitter texts :D

stop&stare - onerepublic

"stop and stare
i think i'm moving but i go nowhere
i know that everyone gets scared
but i've become what i can't be
stop and stare
you start to wonder why you're here, not there
and you'd give anything to get what's fair
but fair ain't what you really need
can you see what i see?"

today has been...pretty crazy.
i hung out with angelo today (i haven't seen him since he got back from colorado)
hearing his stories made me sad, i don't like to see him suffering.
but i'm really glad he's back - and i think everyone really needs to leave him alone.
i really didn't know what to say to him though, because like he said, i could never really understand, because i've never gone through it
but, i'm glad he confided in me, it feels good to know that our friendship is like that

today i found out that my dad's friend has cancer
for the past week or so he's been feeling ill and throwing up blood.
this makes me so sad.
he's just a nice person
for my graduation, he and his wife have me 400 dollars.
they helped my parents a lot when they first came here from vietnam
and always wants to help us when we're in trouble
it's sad to see someone so nice and thoughtful go through this
i wish him all the best
hwaiting

beautiful fighters - ayumi hamasaki

"we are Beautiful Fighters
To be honest, there are some terrible days
but the girls who live without stopping nor giving up are
Beautiful Fighters
The unhealed wound, sometimes opens
but shuts again in time"

today, after chrissa's pre-birthday dinner at samurai sushi, we had another "mobbin' night"
i love hanging out late night with chrissa and kingston
and even though we didn't get to hang out for a long time this time around, it was still fun
i love talking to them, because i know they'll listen
and won't judge me
they don't try to give bullshit advice, they just let me vent
we went to safeway, but everyone was there :[
so we drove around, and ended up going to winco to get some drinks and food.
we were gonna go to the park near ua, but it was dark, and scary.
so we went to a park on elk grove florin
and sat under a little gazebo type thing and ate our candy, traded stories, and lit morning glories
sometimes it's nice only being with one or two other people.
i also love how kingston and chrissa are always down to hang out
and we look out for each other a lot. i like that.
<3

sunset glow - big bang

"the sun rises, the sun sets
i become saddened by the sunset glow
the moon rises, the moon sets
i become dull too, as time passes by
the sun rises, the sun sets
i become saddened by the sunset glow
the moon rises, the moon sets
memories of you become dull too"

sunsets have always been my favorite time of the day. something about red, orange, and pink puts me at ease.
but at the same time it's a daunting sight. because a sunset means another day lost.
another book of regrets, hours we can't have backs, memories we can't relive.
summer is only a temporary moment in time.
like all other seasons, it quickly disappears.
but the funny thing it, summer sunsets are the best.

i don't care - 2ne1

yes, i am fully aware that somewhere on my blog...the exact same title is out there, but i don't give a fuck. so just shut up and listen.

"hey playboy, it's about time
and your time's up
i had to do this one for my girls
you know, sometimes you gotta act like you don't care
that's the only way the boys learn"

you just have to act like you don't care
put up and front and be like "bitch, please."
easier said then done.
why me, why now, WHY
what the fuck, seriously.
this was supposed to be easy, simple, clean.
but now it's difficult, complicated, and dirty.

"i don't care
i'll stop caring about what you're doing
wherever you are
from now on - i really don't care
i'll get out of the way"

easier said then done, right?
especially when you decide to pop back in out of nowhere.
i seriously don't know how to feel anymore
i'm tired of it
i'm trying so hard not to care, but you're making it difficult
i just want you to make your intentions know - but whatever

"i’m too good to throw away and too boring to have
[...]
you fooled me with your lies hundreds of times
from today on, I’ll be a bad girl who makes guys cry
now without a single tear, I’ll laugh at you"

the joys of being random.

i really have nothing to say. i've been feeling weird lately, but i can't put my feelings into words. i don't know what it is. there's this knot in my stomach and a pull on my heart and it won't go away. nothing's been happening lately, so i don't know why i'm feeling this way.

what is wrong with me!?