missing in action

i'm going to be out of the state for a week. i shall be in my hometown: centreville, virginia. one of my fave cousins is getting married and i'm her bridesmaid :]. and i can't promise to be active wheni come back. becuase my cousins are following me back. which i'm very excited for. but, lack of me post = more pictures and you missing me more :]. so i got most of my plans finished. monday, i got to hang out with hobagg. we had a lot to talk about and he's a good friend. i got to play with his fat dogs afterwards. like, seriously, they are FAT but soo cute. and they love me :].

today i went to watch a movie at my friend's house. it was a long overdue event, not as long overdue as the ice cream, but whatever. it was fun. we watched out favorite movie "juno." and he had a comfy couch that i almost fell asleep on. but, i'm leaving tomorrow bright and early to san jo. and from there, i'm flying off to dulles airport and won't be back in fairfax til 12. i'm not gonna be tired, cause it'll only be 9 over here :/ but i will try to sleep. and the next few days will be fun.

i will miss posting. but, oh well. my cousins are cooler. PEACE

kill the batman

i was fortunate enough to catch a matinee showing today of "the dark knight". even though i barely got sleep the night before, this was a crucial moment and i just had to wake up. let me just say, it disappointed me. everything about it was just hype and it brought NOTHING to the table. JKAY KIDS. omg, this movie is probably the best movie i have ever seen. it is so psychologically damaging and messes with your head so much. heath ledger played an amazing joker. and i don't simply say that just because he has passed away [rip]. he seriously put so much into the rold and did a fantastic job. i was floored by his appearance. at times, i couldn't even fathom that he would play such a role and embodies it so well. plus the use of his makeup was astonishing. because, if you have watched the batman with michael keaton and jack nicholson, the scare factor was there. but, the fact that his make up is basically dripping off his face just makes it so frightening. what also got to me was the way he spoke and licked his lips. it was so eerie. it was as if he was staring straight at me and talking to me. i was so disturbed by it. i want to disect joker's personality. but i don't want to ruin it for others. if anyone has watched it though, i'm totally up for discussion. cause i have that nerdnes in me. harvey dent was also a great character who added a lot of depth to the movie. i love this movie so much. i want to watch it again. i think one of the best lines in the movie is: "you either die a hero or live long enough to turn into a villian" -harvey dent. i think it's a good sum of the story and the struggles of good and evil in the batman series. also, i loved christian bale. minus the weird husky voice he does when he is batman, he's damn sexy. especially on a motorcycle.if they do continue with this, i am excited to see who will fill the shoes of heath as the joker. i would also like to see the introduction of freeze and ivy. maybe even the riddler. but please, no robin. i think with the "seriousness" of this film, a robin is not needed. whatever you want to call him. overall, i give the dark knight an A ++++++++ because it was damn amazing. and i want to spend another 10 bucks to see it again. yeah, it's that fucking good.

my dear kuitan, there is a devil beside you

i have this habit of watching multiple dramas at a time. the two that i've actually started are "kuitan" and "devil beside you". DBY is the first chinese drama i've ever watched. not couting the old school ones dubbed in viet that i used to watch with my parents. DBY made me think about how twisted asian people are. the basic premises of the story is qi yue and ahmon like each other, but are about to become step-siblings. so odd and so wrong, but it's a pretty good drama. i love rainie yang's hair and mike he is pretty hot.

now, kuitan is a good old fashioned comedy. it doesn't star many people i know, minus the guy from "lunch queen" you know, the crazy ex with the orange hair? well, kuitan is pretty damn funny. about this food crazed detective. i got into it after i watched the detective conan special with oguri shun.

i've also tried to start sapuri with kame! and rewatching kurosagi and water boys 2, since i never finished them.

so, today was henry's surprise birthday party. he's 12 years older, do to the math. even though it was small, it was fun. and i enjoy hanging out with these people. even though they are significantly older than me. they still enjoy to do things like play board games and sing karaoke while drunk. which, i have videos to post later on :]

--

my days have been, relaxed? i guess. not much is on my mind, except one thing:

it's funny how people never realize they are in the same situation as you
and they give you all this advice
but never follow it themselves
they tell you how it's easy to figure out these things
but yet, they can't do it either
i find people who contradict themselves so funny
acting like they know what goes on in another person's life
when they have no outlook on their own
i feel like these people shouldn't give me advice
because i would be just like them
i would stay in the same spot forever

'cause i can't stop thinking about you

ah, so i've been rewatching Love Letter Season 3 for the past few days. and i watched the one with Si Won, Han Kyung, and Hee Chul from SJ and they danced to 'U' and i'm listening to the song right now :] well, anyways. there is this one part, when they are playing the Striking King game, and Kang Ho Dong tells Han Kyung to MC with him. if you didn't know, Han Kyung is the Chinese boy in the group and doesn't speak Korean really well. and since the topic was 4 word proverbs or whatever, they wanted to Han Kyung to introduce it.


"are yoooou reeeeeeeeadyyy?!?!"

haha, prior to that, he was having a hard time saying anything in Chinese and all the other guys were like "they only say you're Chinese because you can't speak Korean well, right?!?!" haha, i love this show. love's relay is probably the best segment of it eeeeeeveer.

i also love brian and his "gorilla dancing"



so, my final for stupid comp. class was today. it was super easy and boring. haha afterwards me and michelle went to target, borders, and payless. we created total chaos in target as we tried to renact the "Lies" music video. i was in a shopping cart and singing horrible. it was fun though. i was able to buy me a pair of shoes/boots and i love them already :] ahh,i have much to do before i leave for virginia on wednesday

list of shit i gotta do:
friday: cousin's birthday
saturday: shhh, it's a secret!!
sunday: free day? let's do shit
monday: hopefully watch juno
tuesday: DRAMA DAAAAY
wednesday: my ass flys off to the east coast!!
ahhhh, i am very very excited!!! :D

what has happened to the younger generation??

so my sister informed me about this thirteen year old girl who wrote in to 107.9 the end. she was angry because there was so rule that you have to be 14 or something to be in a video? i have no idea. it was for the stupid jonas brothers concert, so i don't have much interest. BUT this girl has serious grammar issues. and spelling and just issues in general. i have no idea what is going on in this world. it's horrible how she can't spell, has no sentence structure, no punctuation or ANYTHING. it was sad, but funny to read

here's an exerpt:

"I love the Jonas Bros more than you no. Its is soe unfare that you gotta be 14 to meet them at Nfest.Rulez are stupider than anything cuz everybody nos that jonas bros fans arent old people but w e are kids who respect and luv what they bring to the world. "

http://endonline.com/Email-From-Mary-The-13-Year-Old/2573309

read more there. i mean, i was dying from laughter and as i thought about it later on. i was like, wtf? how is this possible. and apparently, some parents got mad and someone said: "my 13 year old daughter types like that, is she stupid?" well, i don't know what the radio people said, but YES. she's almost in high school and cannot spell or punctuate to save her life! that's HORRIBLE. does she just skip school without her parents knowing?! ahhh, it's frustrating

i gave up knight school for lent...

ahh, so i totally love touchblue. if you've never heard of them, they are these five filipino guys who make videos and do live shows. their stuff is mostly comedic and they do spoofs and stuff. here are some videos that i love dearly. i felt it would be appropiate to show you.

knight school:

"you've got a little something on your face"

hunters and gathers:


stainout:

"PRESENTATION!!!"

lent:

"i'll fuck 'em up with my JESUS FISTS"

i think lent is my all time new favorite video. jaymar is my favorite. he's the one on the right in knight school and in lent. stainout is always my favorite. but, i do love these guys. and they have awesome videos. check them out sometime: www.touchblue.net or just search them up on youtube.

in lght of that, i discovered wongfu like a year or two back. i think the first video i watched was "locked out" they do awesome shorts and music videos. but i always love watching their blogs.

blog 3 - new toys:


blog 3.5 - @ uc berkeley


--

wow, i've really overloaded with the videos. but i love these two groups. and wongfu is coming out with a contest, which i'm totally ready to enter at all costs.

so my day was so blaaaah. it was the second to last day of class and i didn't pay attention. as usual. i also found out something interesting. current event for the day: a man is sentenced to 4060 YEARS in prison after being convicted of raping three girls in texas. the moral of this story? don't committ crimes in texas, and if you do, don't get caught. cause texans will FUCK YOU UP. i love texans. haha

this habit won't quit

i woke up early today. which is something weird. on days when i don't have class, i usually wake up at 12. i woke up at 1015 today. oh well. so, i got two lovely responses from my post last night. the post that was filled with mumbo jumbo and no beginning or end.

"haha your post brings up questions that i havent thought about in awhile. how do we really know? we don't. we live not knowing. but if you think about it, do you really want to know what the future holds. would you want to live a straight line, being guided by the "truth" that tells you the safe way to live life? i dont think so. life is jagged and rigid and mixed up and DISORDERLY, but through it you learn how to treasure the few things you do find are right. if everything you did was right, if all the people you met were the ones that were truely your friends, then i bet you probably wouldn't treasure them the way you do now. do you get what you mean? funny how most of the time, people always end up falling for the one that is not right for them and ending up ignoring the one that is right for them. but i guess that is because life is weird and when you meet the ONE, it is because he is actually the first ONE you have fallen that isnt wrong. that totally didnt make sense. but lets answer that question 10 years from now. :D" -ck

"basically what ck said (that dork was the one who showed me this entry :P). i think life will be more exhilarating and fun if we stop expecting an answer or a reward from it. i mean what's the point if everything was right all the time? i think life is really about treasuring the good times that surfaced through our lowest points of our lives (if that made any sense at all). it might not seem good to you now but once you've experienced the bad times, then you will know if something was right for you. we're still too young to make that kind of judgment now."
-miss melanie [and yes, "last friends" is a good watch :D]

so i guess i was being lame yesterday? i always am, no new surprises there. so, i've always wanted to watch "breakfast at tiffany's" mainly because it has my name in it - conceited i know. and also because of audrey hepburn. i like her a lot. she was always so elegant and pretty in black.

so, i like to read current events a lot. i like to pick up something interesting each day. today's story: a father sold his baby's name for a gas gift card worth 100 bucks. his son will now be called DIXON AND WILLOUGHBY PARTIN. yes, the AND is part of the poor child's name. poor boy. and what if the ultra sound was wrong and out pops a girl. damn, that was suck ass. there's you bit of fun information for the day.

i don't really have anything mind boggling to share today. the day has just started, really. does anyone know the weather outside? i guess it's hot, like always. i'm not doing much today. typical of my mondays. ahh, i can't wait to go back to virginia

searching

hmm, i've been writing in this a lot. i guess it's because i have no life. and that i have a lot on my mind and writing in my journal hurts my hand and my eyes.

so, i thought about a couple of things the other day

1. when do we know something's right for us?
it can be anything. like how do we know a college is right for us. or those pair of jeans. that boy or girl over there. the dog in the window of the adoption center. marriage. children. anything. do we just get a feeling? if that's so, my intuition has been extremely off lately. and by lately i mean for a few years. haha? every time i feel like something is good for me, it doesn't turn out that way. i guess maybe i just suck. ahh whatever

2. why do we always love/like the wrong people?
so call me lame, but this popped up when i was watching "last friends" this jdrama. and i won't dispell what it was about, but it made me realize that love truly is blind - for lack of a less cliche line. and wrong can mean a lot of things for different people. like the nice girl who falls in love with the smoker. the passive agressive one who falls in love with the abuser. things like that. i fall for the wrong people all the time. i never realize it until they're cracked my heart and fail to heal it.

3. how do we befriend the right people?
mind you, i have wonderful friends. whom i love dearly. but it wasn't always like that. and again, this came from the drama "last friends" how do we find the ones who match us and we can relate too. i don't have many of those types of friends. i hate befriending people who hurt me later on.

4. why is life confusing right up to the day we die?
why can't we figure out the freaking "meaning of life" earlier. i hate that "being young" disables me from understanding a lot of things. and i know it's notbecause of age. it's because i'm too sheltered. i want to get a couple of scrapes and learn for myself.so that i can finally understand this topsy turvy world of ours.

those were the questions floating around in my mind lately. wandering around. unanswered. i've noticed a pattern. a lot of my posts are depressing. i'm sorry. i am happy and bubbly most of the time. just ask my friends. i'm an awesome person to hang around. but i guess when i start writing, all that goes away. i loved writing since way back when. even though i'm not very good. i joined a creative writer's club in the 8th grade. it was amazing. my english teacher was head of that club. but, she passed due to cancer a few years later. she always has a special place in my heart though. cause she flourished my love for writing. she was an amazing writer and an amazing person. i miss her a lot. they held a ceremony for her at my old school after she passed. onthe back of the cards, bookmarks, and programs there was a robert frost poem. i think it was also in "the outsiders" one her favorite movies because matt dillion was in there, but it personifies her beautifully. i guess i'll share it

nothing gold can stay

nature's first green is gold
her hardest hue to hold
her early leaf's a flower
but only so an hour
the leaf subsides to leaf
so eden sank to greif
so dawn does down to day
nothing gold can stay

-robert frost

i remember sharing in her class. that i thought this poem was about innocence. i stil believe that to this day.

--
ps. remember the thing i broke yesterday? there's caution tape around that area now. my bad vintage park people

grey hairs and broken sprinklers

i found a grey hair when i was straightening my hair today. [wow, that sounded redundant]. anyways, you know how people always freak out when they get grey hairs? well, i wasn't really sure where the grey hair came from. well first off, the grey was smack dab in the middle. so it was black hair, grey hair, and black hair again. i didn't even know that was possible. so, i haven't been stressing lately, when i don't think i have been. and i'm not that old. so i have no idea where it came from. i was confused up until the point where i pulled it out. that was the first offset thing to my day.

next, today was just a random day to hang out with friends and do stupid shit with each other. we all swam and then went and played night tag at the nearby park. and while i was hiding in the bushes with my male friend, i stepped on something near the tree. i hear this "crack" like noise and the ground rumbles. so being my scared self i jump off the dirt i'm on and see this "thing" rush out of the ground. being one who watches too many scary movies i thought sadako [ringu girl] was going to pop out and kill me. so i scream and everyone hears me. and this flood of water, which was the "thing", wil not stop flowing out of the ground. so i'm certained i broke something and we hang around and make sure everyone is accounted for. when we walk back to that area, the water is still going! so i'm certain i'm in a lot of trouble for that.

--

i like to go on tangents. sorry. ah, there's been a certain male that's been on my mind on and off since...ohh let's say late october? aiish, i don't even know why i'm bringing this up. but sometimes, thinking about him makes me...um...sad? yeah, sad's the right word. i don't know. i guess when i think about our friendship, i just think about a lot of other things. he makes me think too much. i hate him for that. but...i enjoy his presence at the same time. he makes me smile when i talk to him. but then nothing happens, and i get upset. can you even believe i cried because of him. once, only once. but i've teared up many times because of him. not because of the things he does. but i just...think about things. i use the work think a lot, don't i? i repeat myself too much. ah, i wrote a poem about him once. i guess i'll share. it's still in edit mode, even though i wrote it months ago. excuse a lot of little girl cliches and what not. okay, here goes. i wrote this in april, by the way.

you make me feel 500 million emotions all at once
but despite that, i can't bring myself to love you or hate you
no, i don't hate you
not only because hate's "too strong of a word"
but something inside me is telling me: "wait, you don't know him well enough to fully judge his actions"
on top of that my feelings aren't developed enough for "love"
you see, my love is rare
and no one has ever held on to my heart
and trust me, with the way things are going
you won't be the first
my heart's already chipping away and you've barely poked it
i don't want to think of what you'd do
gripping it with your careless hands
nothing thinking twice about how your actions affect me
not thinking about me at all
but i think about you almost everyday
you smile, your [insert adj. here] hair, witty humor, and great style
anything and everything leads my mind back to you
i don't understand the ways of my heart
it beats so fast that i feel it's about to burst out of my chest
or just explode right there inside me
but no, i don't love you
i don't under how my mind tells me day in and day out to get over you, forget you, and move on
but no, i can't hate you
my mind and my heart are constantly battling
and i'm the one to straighten everything out
everyone says "all is fair in love and war"
but is it truly fair that i'm in thise alone
and no one understand the pain i withstand
is it truly fair that i smile through this pain
and you don't even notice
love and hate go together like honey and bees
peanut butter and jelly
because you can't have one without the other
and i know i should hate you
tear away the memories that i've created with you
but does that mean i have to love you too

mind you i wrote this in a fragile state. ahhh it all sounds so cheesy right now. and NO i do not love this male at all. i'm highly infatuated with him. ah, i don't know why i wrote all that out. it just brought back all these emotions and too much is on my mind again

the point when time stands still

i spend a lot of my time thinking. wondering what will happen next. maybe people don't know that i analyze everything that happens, every word spoken, action made. it all means something to me. i over think things, and maybe that's my fault.

i set myself up for failure so that if i succeed i will be happy, but if i don't i will feel nothing at all. i've spent a lot of time questioning myself. the age old question, "what is my purpose here." being a mere 17 year old, i guess i can't expect myself to know just yet. but at the same time, i'm tired of aimlessly wondering around with no ideas of what i'm supposed to be. you know how people always tell you to "be yourself" but how does that work when you don't know who you are? people no longer give you though-provoking questions or advice worth heeding. there are no more heart-to-heart talks that amount to anything. you can no longer have those moments when time stands still because everyone wants to live such a fast paced life. you know, those moments that make you so happy, it seems as those time itself has stopped progessing. as if to allow you time to take in the feeling of joy.

Hi, My Name Is...

I've been sitting around wondering what else I can use to waste away my life.
I've got the myspace, the facebook, the youtube, the soompi, etc.
My xanga has been dead for about two or three years?
Who uses xanga anymore anyways
I'm tired of writing in my lame journal that cramps my hand
And therefore, cramps my style
I'm not the best writer in the world
I hate rhymes and rhythm and iambic pentameter
But don't expect to come here and find a poem a day
I have no idea what I'm using this for.
Disorderly conduct?
That's how my mind works
Hate it or love it, that's how I am


Hi, my name is Tiffany
And other than that, I have no idea who I am.