the point when time stands still

i spend a lot of my time thinking. wondering what will happen next. maybe people don't know that i analyze everything that happens, every word spoken, action made. it all means something to me. i over think things, and maybe that's my fault.

i set myself up for failure so that if i succeed i will be happy, but if i don't i will feel nothing at all. i've spent a lot of time questioning myself. the age old question, "what is my purpose here." being a mere 17 year old, i guess i can't expect myself to know just yet. but at the same time, i'm tired of aimlessly wondering around with no ideas of what i'm supposed to be. you know how people always tell you to "be yourself" but how does that work when you don't know who you are? people no longer give you though-provoking questions or advice worth heeding. there are no more heart-to-heart talks that amount to anything. you can no longer have those moments when time stands still because everyone wants to live such a fast paced life. you know, those moments that make you so happy, it seems as those time itself has stopped progessing. as if to allow you time to take in the feeling of joy.