hooray for rants

what if all i had to do, was say the right words. at the right time. with the right emphasis. for you to understand the mumbo jumbo inside my brain. what if, all it took was a simple burst of emotion in the form of letter combination, to make you understand me. sometimes i wonder if i say the right things, but at the wrong times. and at the right times, i'm at loss for words. but would it matter anyway? because i'm not good with words and i hate the way my voice sounds. so i may never get my point across. and you may never understand. you may never fully realize. i know there's an inkling in you, telling you what's going on. but maybe your mind is at loss for words as well when it tries to summarize the situation. and i'm sure all of this isn't making sense, but bear with me. it's funny how i always find out the wittiest thing to say after the fact. after my chance to shine is over. after you have already seen me as boring. i guess it can't be helped. because i swear the blood stops flowing the minute i talk to you. i might as well sit there, mute, as you mutter away and say funny things left and right. but, you have always been good with your words and diction. that's nothing new. maybe it's not that i'm bad with putting sentences together that make sense or have any meaning. maybe it's just that, your skills are far more superb. and therefore, you overlook my worthless attempts to share my thoughts. words. words. words. there are so many words in this world, but none can describe anything that i've been feeling. and i know i don't feel indescribable, because if your really tried, there's a word for everything. but i don't know much of everything. so here i am, stuttering. tripping over my tongue. fighting with my brain. dealing with my heart. opening the dictionary in my mind. doing anything to make you focus on me more. but it doesn't work. cause it's been almost a year, and i'm in the same spot. almost a year, and i have yet to utter the perfect phrase to make you stay. there's not much left to do now.

got my schedule fixed:

term 1 & 2:
period 1 - unknown
period 2 - poli sci hnrs / ap lit
period 3 - econ / ta
period 4 - mock trial

term 3 & 4
period 1 - physics
period 2 - ap gov / ap lit
period 3 - stats
period 4 - ap psych

ON A LIGHTER NOTE: